The Bible: Full Circle
by William Raymer
Summary: What happens when the son of Jim and Michelle inherits the legendary Bible? All mayhem breaks loose, that's what! Rating may change due to content of later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

_The Bible: Full Circle_

by William Raymer

It was the fall of 2024, and things were beginning to get interesting at East Great Falls High School. The seniors were all wondering about who would be the one to inherit the "Bible" that year. Little did everyone know that it would go to someone whose very existance is related to the document. My name is William Charles Flaherty-Levenstein, and this is my story-the story of the 30th Inheritor of the Bible.

I was ready to face another school day when it happened. I recieved a mysterious phone call as I was getting ready to drive to school. "Hello?" I asked after I picked up the phone. "_William Levenstein?_" a voice said. "Who is this?" I asked.

"_You're Janine Stifler's girlfriend, right?_" the voice asked. I was upset. Someone somehow knew that I was dating Janine Stifler, the daughter of Matthew Stifler, East High's football coach. "Who the fuck is this!" I said.

"_Hey, chill, man,_" the voice said. "_I'm Andrew Mendez, from the class of '23._" "Hey, now I remember you, Drew! What's going on with you, man?" I asked. "_I'm cool, man_," Mendez said. "_Listen, rumor has it that you want to take the next step with ol' Janine._" "Yeah," I said.

"_Well, I might be able to help you. It is my right to name my successor_," Mendez said. "Your successor to what?" I said. "_My successor as Keeper of the Bible_," Mendez said. My jaw dropped. "You mean..." I started to say. "_Exactly_," Mendez said.

"_I'm sure you know the rules: You have to write a story that goes into the Bible for future Inheritors, you must keep it a secret, and you have to return it at the end of the year_," Mendez said. "I understand," I said. "So, where can I find it?"

"_The East High library, in a secret compartment under the shelf marked '982.1 Fluid Dynamics_,'" Mendez said. "_And this year, keep an eye on the juniors. It is now up to _you_ to determine who will follow you. Good luck, kid_," Mendez added before he hung up.

I put the handset back down on the cradle, finished packing my backpack, said goodbye to my parents, then got in my '03 Cutlass (those '03s sure run well after all these years) and drove to school.

As soon as I parked, I made a beeline for the library. East High was a rarity in this day and age: they had a library with real hard-bound books, not the e-book bullshit you'd see at most high schools these days. Luckily, my mother taught me how to use the old-fashioned Dewey Decimal System and soon, I found my way to the physical sciences section.

I looked for the "982.1 Fluid Dynamics" label Drew Mendez told me about. Finally, I found it. I saw that the base of the shelf was uneven with the rest of the shelf. I quickly looked around, to see if anyone was watching, then lifted the cover off of the secret compartment.

I couldn't believe it: I was about to hold the most sacred document us East High seniors could ever hope to read. I picked up the Bible. Then, I stuffed it into my backpack with room to spare. Then, knowing that others would seek the Bible while I held it, I pulled a piece of paper from my notebook.

Then, with a pen and paper, I wrote the words all seniors at East High (save myself now) dreaded:

TO THOSE WHO SEEK "THE BIBLE,"

I WILL RETURN IT IN THE SPRING.

SIGNED,

And then, with a flourish, I signed the paper,

WILLIAM FLAHERTY-LEVENSTEIN.

I knew I would have to wait until I got home to read what secrets I now had in my possession. But, little did I know that I was about to reveal a secret as to why I was _truly_ destined to inherit the Bible.

_:TBC:_


	2. Chapter 2

_The Bible: Full Circle_

Chapter 2

After I got home from school, I had to read through the Bible, to seen what my fellow Inheritors had written. I had gotten to the 6th Inheritor, a kid by the name of Kevin Meyers, when I saw something that made my jaw drop, even more so than when Drew Mendez told me that I was to inherit the Bible.

_The Legend of "The Pact"_

_By Kevin Meyers, 6th Inheritor of the Bible_

_It was the spring of 1999, and I was in a relationship with a girl I loved, a girl by the name of Victoria Latham. But, I was afraid of taking the next step. At a party a "friend" of mine named Steve Stifler was throwing--_

I stopped for a moment. I had heard Jeanine mention an "Uncle Steve" several times since I knew her.

_--I made a comment that Vicky, unfortunately, overheard. The next day, I woke up to some shocking news: Charles Sherman_--

Mr. Sherman is my counselor. And he was involved with this story, too?

_--whom we called "the Shermanator" for his uncanny Arnold Schwarzenegger-as-the-Terminator impression, had apparently gotten laid the night before by a girl from Central High. I was upset that Sherman had gotten laid before me, or my core group of friends. So, along with my friends Chris Ostreicher, Paul Finch and James Levenstein--_

WHAT THE FUCK? My Dad's in this story, too?

_-- I made a pact to lose our virginities before graduation, which was about two weeks away by that point. It was determined that the very last chance for us to fulfill this Pact was at a post-prom party that Stifler was throwing at his mom's lake house._

I continued to read, fascinated by the story of my Dad and his friends during their senior year. I had just read the section on my Dad embarrassing himself on the old Internet, when my Mom called me down to dinner.

That night, as I was getting ready to go to bed, I decided to read more of the 6th Inheritor's story.

_From what Jimbo told me, he was so desperate to find someone to fulfill the Pact with, that he asked a band geek by the name of Michelle Flaherty_---

HOLY SHIT! Mom's in the story, too? This is just too much! I read on, past how whom I call Mr. Sherman was revealed as a liar (he did not have sex when he claimed to), past the point where Kevin and Vicky decided that a long-range relationship was not in the cards, to the end of the story:

_As Oz, Finch, Jim and I had that toast at Dog Years, we knew that our unique bond would keep us together forever._

_Kevin Meyers_

_6th Inheritor of the Bible_

_May 1, 1999_

_P.S.: To those future Inheritors who need a boost in their love lives, may I recommend The World-Famous "Tongue Tornado" on page 56. _

Then, on the other side of the page was a series of paragraphs, whose ink was brighter that that on the main page of the 6th Inheritor's story, indicating that it was added later. One pair of paragraphs was of particular interest to me:

_The most successful member of the Pact has got to be James Levenstein. On July 21, 2003, Jimbo proposed to Michelle. She accepted. James Emmanuel Levenstein and Michelle Annabeth Flaherty were married on August 2nd, 2003 and had their first child, William Charles Flaherty-Levenstein, on September 8th, 2006. _

_Jim and Michelle allegedly planned on naming ol' Billy James Tiberius Flaherty-Levenstein, after James T.Kirk from the original _Star Trek_, which celebrated its 40th anniversary the day William was born. Thank God cooler heads prevailed on that one. _

_Kevin Meyers_

_6th Inheritor of the Bible_

_October 24, 2009_

"Son, lights out," I heard my mom say. "Mom, Dad, can you come here for a minute?" I asked as I hid the Bible under my bed.

My Mom and Dad walked into my room. "Yes, son?" Dad asked. "Dad, do you remember a guy by the name of Kevin Meyers?" I asked. "Yes, I do," Dad said. "How do you know him?" I took a deep breath, knowing I was about to break the vow all 29 Inheritors before me made, then reached under my bed and pulled out the Bible.

Dad saw the Bible. "Is that what I think it is?" Dad asked. I nodded. "Yes, it is," I said. "It is the legendary Sex Bible of East Great Falls High School."

Dad fell to the floor in a heap.

_:TBC:_


	3. Chapter 3

_The Bible: Full Circle_

Chapter 3

_Author's Note: The opening portion of this chapter is an adaptation of a deleted scene from _American Pie 2_. To see this deleted scene, go to chapter 7 of the "Deleted Scenes" featurette on the UNRATED _American Pie 2_ DVD._

Dad slowly came to. Mom helped him to his feet. "Then I assume you know of the Bible from Mr. Meyers," I said. Dad nodded. "It was the summer after our first year of college. That was almost 25 years ago. On our way home from a job, we decided to stop by East High-that was when we found out about it."

The pictures began to form in my mind, based on Dad's description and the pictures of "The Pact" which Mr. Meyers put with the story.

_A truck pulls up to East Great Falls High. It looks essentially the same then as it does now. Four friends pile out-Dad, Mr. Finch, Mr. Meyers and Mr. Ostreicher. They decide to split up and walk around campus-to remember the good ol' days._

_Mr. Ostreicher finds his old locker. He tries his old combination on the lock, but when he tries to open it, it fails to open. "It won't open," a voice from the other side of the open locker door calls out. Mr. Ostreicher looks over and sees Mr. Meyers._

"_You're right," Mr. Ostreicher said. Mr. Meyers walks over to Mr. Ostreicher and looks at his old friend. "There's something I've never told you guys," Mr. Meyers said. "There was this book hidden in the library. It's kind of like one of Finch's books, except that guys had added their own experiences. Well, do you know what I put in it? The story about us—the story about the Pact."_

_The four friends walked up to the 982.1 Fluid Dynamics shelf. Mr. Meyers lifted the cover of the compartment where the Bible was supposed to be—except, the Bible wasn't there. Mr. Meyers pulled a slip of paper from the compartment. _

"_'To those who seek the Bible, we'll return it in the Fall,'" Mr. Meyers read. "'Signed Tom Faillor and Robert Fleetwood.'" _

"And that's how I know," Dad said. "Excuse me." Dad walked out of my room. Mom looked at the Bible as I slipped it back under my bed.

Downstairs, Dad picked up the telephone and dialed a number. "Kev, this is Jim. Forgive the lateness of this call, but you have to come over here tomorrow. It has happened."

The next day, as I got home from school, I saw a number of people seated in the living room. There was Mom and Dad, of course. There were also a number of people I recognized to varying degrees. Christopher and Heather Ostreicher I remembered from going to their wedding back in '08. Paul Finch I knew from my yoga class.

Uncle Steven and Aunt Cadence were there, too. And finally, I met _him_-the 9th Inheritor, Kevin Meyers.

"Dad, what's going on?" I asked. "Son, put your gear up in your room, then come back down here," Dad said. I nodded.

After I put my backpack in my room and came back downstairs, we began to talk. "Jimbo, we all knew that this day would eventually come," Mr. Ostreicher said. "Yeah, when Kev told us about the Bible, we discussed the possibility of one of our children eventually coming into possession of it," Mr. Finch said.

"Excuse me," Aunt Cadence said. "But, what is this 'Bible' you are all talking about?" "It's simple, Aunt Cadence," I said. "34 years ago, two students brought a sex manual home from an overseas trip. Before they graduated, they decided to leave the book behind and put a series of rituals and protective rules in place for future generations."

"And those rules are?" Aunt Cadence asked. "Well, there are only two main rules that I know of," I said. "Each Inheritor must put in a story about how they used the Bible's knowledge for future Inheritors to learn from, and the rule no one broke until I did it last night: No one is to know of the book's existence."

The doorbell rang before I could continue the explanation. Dad got up and went to answer it. "Oh, hello, Vicky," he said. "Sorry I'm late," a voice said. As the person the voice belonged to walked into the living room, my jaw dropped. "_That's Victoria Latham! It's gotta be!_" I thought. "_But she and Mr. Meyers broke up after that post-prom encounter 25 years ago! Or...did they?_"

"Hey, Vicky," Mr. Meyers said as he kissed Vicky. "Excuse me, Mr. Meyers..." I started to say before Mr. Meyers held up his hand. "Please, call me Kevin," he said. "We are both Inheritors after all." "Okay then, _Kevin_," I said. "Didn't you two break up? I assume that this--" I pointed to Victoria. "--is Victoria Latham," I finished.

"Sort of," Victoria said. "See, I _was_ once known as Victoria Latham. But, after your parents got married, Kevin and I got back together. We were married a year after you were born." "Oh, I remember now," I said. "That was when Grandpa Noah babysat me for the weekend while Mom and Dad went up to Grand Lakes Resort."

After the impromptu Pact reunion broke up, I began to pack my backpack. Mom saw me and smiled. "Son, where are you going?" she asked. "I'm an Inheritor now, Mom," I said. "I gotta go try this thing out and work up a story for the next one."

As I walked up to the door, Dad smiled. "Son, before you go, we all agreed to keep the Bible's existence a secret. So, as far as future generations go, your secret is safe with us," he said. "Be careful, son."

"Thanks, Dad," I said as I waled out of the house.

A half an hour later, I walked up to Jeanine's house and rang the doorbell. Elyse Stifler, Jeanine's mother, answered. "Hello?" she said. "Good day to you, Mrs. Stifler. I'm William Levenstein, Jeanine's boyfriend," I said.

"Oh, hello,William," Mrs. Stifler said. "Jeanine, your boyfriend's here!" she yelled. Jeanine came down the stairs. God, is she beautiful! "Hey, Bill!" she said. "Hey there yourself," I said before I kissed her. "Listen, let's go to your room."

Upstairs, I told Jeanine to lie on the bed. She said she needed a little time to slip into something a little more...comfortable. As she did, I hid the Bible under her bed. As I did, a thought popped into my mind. I remembered Kevin's story about how he used the "World-Famous Tongue Tornado" to please Vicky.

The door from Jeanine's bathroom back to her bedroom opened. HOLY SHIT! That lingerie left little—and I do mean, _little—_to the imagination. "Listen, Bill, I've been thinking," Jeanine said. "Yes?" I asked.

"We've been going out for three years now," Jeanine began. "You've made it to third base. Why not make it a home run?" I gulped. "Well then," I said, reaching into my backpack. "I'm glad I packed these."

Jeanine smiled as I showed her my "party supplies." "I love you, Jeanine," I said. "I love you too, Bill," Jeanine said.

The next morning, I woke up in Jeanine's bed. The previous night was all I dreamed my first time to be and more. "Good morning, Tiger," Jeanine said. "To you too, Wildcat," I said.

_To be concluded..._


	4. Chapter 4

_The Bible: Full Circle_

Chapter 4-FINAL CHAPTER

It was time for me to return the Bible to its hiding place, for the 31st Inheritor to acquire. So, as I put my story in the Bible, I had an idea. At the bottom of the story, I wrote:

TO THE THIRTY-FIRST INHERITOR AND ALL WHO FOLLOW HIM:

"I HOPE my story helps you to understand me. I HOPE you use my story to help you achieve the next step in your relationship."

William C. Levenstein

30th Inheritor of the Bible

16 February 2025

Just after I put the Bible back in its hiding place, I began to seek out Jeanine.

"Coach! Where's Jeanine?" I asked Coach Stifler. "She's in the Auditorium," he said. "Good, because I had something to ask you-man to man," I said.

He gestured for me to sit down. "Coach, I'm going to ask you this not as one of your best players, but as a man in love with your only daughter. Matthew Stifler, I would like to ask for permission to marry your daughter."

Coach Stifler thought for a moment, then smiled. "You have it. Just, please wait until after college. You can propose now, just wait until after college to seal the deal," he said. "Yes, sir," I said. Bowing to Coach Stifler, I ran out of his office.

In the auditorium, Jeanine was rehearsing for the school's production of _High School Musical_. "Jeanine?" I yelled. "Bill, I'm in the middle of a rehearsal right now," she said. "This can't wait," I said. Pulling a small red case out of my pocket, I fell to one knee. "Jeanine Misty Stifler, last night I came to a decision on the future of our relationship. Will you marry me?"

Jeanine started to cry. "Well, what's it gonna be?" I asked. "Yes!" Jeanine said. "Yes, I will marry you!"

As I put the ring on Jeanine's finger, I began to cry too. My future father-in-law, Coach Stifler always said, "Men don't cry unless they're in pain." Well, with apologies to the Coach and to my readers, that is a crock of bullshit. I cried as we kissed to seal our engagement, and I was not in pain. Far from it, as a matter of fact. I was completely happy.

EPILOGUE-SIX MONTHS LATER

It was the first day of school for the 2025-2026 school year at East Great Falls High. It was also the day when I would perform my last duty as Inheritor of the Sex Bible of East Great Falls High.

I picked up my cell phone and dialed a number. "_Hello, Gold residence,_" a voice responded. "Hello. Is Brandon there?" I asked. "_This is him. Who is this?_" Brandon said.

"Hey, Brandon,. This is Will Levenstein from the Class of '25," I said. "_Hey,Bill! How's your fiancé?_" Brandon asked. "She's fine, in more ways than one," I said. "Listen, I have chosen you for the most sacred duty of an East High senior."

As I described the duties of an Inheritor, I felt the past Inheritors looking at me and wondering what my successor had in store for the legacy.

As Brandon finished reading the Bible, he saw a picture of me and Jeanine, which a yearbook club member took and gave to me. It was the heading to my story.

_Me and Jeanine_

_by William Levenstein, 30__th__ Inheritor of the Bible_

_Back in my sophomore year, I met and fell in love with a girl named Jeanine Stifler. I knew her father, East High football coach Matthew Stifler. I also knew her Aunt, my aunt Cadence Flaherty-Stifler. _

_But even knowing these two powerful forces, I decided to risk going out with her. _

_I had been Jeanine's boyfriend for three years before I got the call from the 29__th__ Inheritor, Andrew Mendez, asking if I was interested to become the 30__th__ Inheritor. I accepted, knowing that the knowledge contained in the Bible would help me achieve the next level in my relationship._

_One day, I used basically every technique in the Bible during my first lovemaking session with ol' Jeanine. The next day, as I woke up in her bed, I saw Jeanine lying next to me. I thought, "A fella could get used to this-waking up in the morning lying next to the sexiest, most beautiful girl in the world."_

_As I write this, I am preparing to ask Coach Stifler for permission to marry Jeanine after we graduate from college. Whatever the future holds, we will face it together._

_TO THE THIRTY-FIRST INHERITOR AND ALL WHO FOLLOW HIM:_

_"I HOPE my story helps you to understand me. I HOPE you use my story to help you achieve the next step in your relationship."_

_William C. Levenstein_

_30__th__ Inheritor of the Bible_

_16 February 2025_

_THE END_

_Author's Note: I intended to include a sub-plot involving Erik Stifler and "Tracy," the main couple of _American Pie presents "The Naked Mile."_ But, after learning of the couple's breakup by the time of _American Pie presents "Beta House,"_ I was unable to reconcile my planned storyline with current _American Pie_ series canon, so I had no choice but to drop the storyline._

_But that doesn't mean I can't make a sequel to this story! I just have to check out "_Beta House"_ to see what I have to work with. Wish me luck._

_William Raymer_

_Yuma, Arizona USA_

_17 February 2008_


End file.
